


Me - Kiss - What?

by mkj



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, M/M, Minor cussing please be advised, One Shot, i love these two so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 11:40:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10099016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mkj/pseuds/mkj
Summary: Isabelle laughed for what seemed like the fifth time that minute, and said, “Simon, truth or dare?” with a light, dazzling slur, grabbing her glass from the table yet again arousing a clink, and putting it to her lips.“Die-” Said Simon, choking, then quickly corrected, “I mean dare, sorry- tongue twister.”Suddenly a dark expression appeared on her face. All this time she had kept one dare in her mind for Simon alone, but waited until it was her chance to ask the questions, “I dare you…” She began, took a graceful pause to garner his reaction, “to kiss Raphael on the cheek, or whatever, when you get back to the hotel.”“…. Is it too late to pick die?” Simon asked, begging.





	

The day started out as a normal one and continued thereafter. Aside from a few drawbacks, the shadowhunters + fellow vampire and warlock friend had the rest of the day to relax; and did so with a cup of special marmalade for everyone (the special was a hint of paprika between every fruit and 15% alcohol, because why not?) at Magnus's house. Simon was on his third cup though aside from a slight burn, it went down fine with no aftereffects thanks to his species. Alec was passed out on Magnus’s bed, could barely down a whole drink, despite always acting like the tough one. Clary and Isabelle were drinking much more slowly, already on their seconds with a light buzz. Clary had already fell over twice, but Simon really couldn’t tell if she was drunk because _that was just Clary_ and Isabelle was smirking more than usual, but _again_ … 

Jace insisted that he stay sober if anything were to happen and sat beside Magnus who was drinking his own red wine.

Currently the group was in a competitive game of truth or dare. Isabelle had her hair in pigtails, cheeks tinted with different colored markers. Clary had one of her sleeves ripped off, and just finished gulping a cup of the pink marmalade substance from Jace’s hands (who looked on disgustedly, but also a little amused). Jace had played truth the entire time, the downer he was, while Magnus had rejected their offer of playing as he was going back and forth between checking up on Alec.

Isabelle laughed for what seemed like the fifth time that minute and said, “Simone, truth or dare?” with a light, dazzling slur, grabbing her glass from the table yet again arousing a clink, and putting it to her lips.

“Die-” Said Simon, choking, then quickly corrected, “I mean dare, sorry- tongue twister.” He had a chunk of his hair cut off, face full of Magnus’s extra beauty products all over his face and body thanks to Clary’s shaky aim.

Suddenly a dark expression appeared on Isabelle’s face. All this time she had kept one dare in her mind for Simon alone, but waited until it was her chance to ask the questions. Simon looked so innocent sitting there, staring at her with big eyes, waiting for his impending doom, “I dare you…” She began, took a graceful pause to garner a reaction from everyone, “... to kiss Raphael, on the cheek if you want, when you get to the hotel.”

His expression changed just as quickly, practically slipped off his face as the girls laughter continued. He glanced at Jace for _any_ help, but the man just shrugged in return. Magnus seemed quite amused by this.

“… Is it too late to pick die?” Simon asked, begging. Not that it would matter because Raphael would definitely kill him if his lips were anywhere near him. 

Isabelle didn’t care, however, quite the opposite really. She had befriended Raphael after her little zing with Yin fen. The two have been texting each other quite frequently and what she had gathered is that Raphael was hiding more than he let on, particularly his fondness for a certain young vampire. He pretended like he hated him, but she had forced him to admit one night that Simon wasn’t actually that bad and maybe his random rambles weren’t actually that annoying. Isabelle even got him to admit that he liked him on a whim, now if only Simon would stop looking at Clary for _two fucking seconds_ and chase reality then maybe… maybe it would work. Maybe they just needed a push in the right direction.

Enter Isabelle.

“You have to send a picture later to my phone, and if not then I’ll figure something even better later. Like, I don’t know, streaking in your mother’s workplace perhaps?”

“You’re… You’re a monster.” countered Simon with wide eyes.

“Damn straight, Si.” She felt a hand move around her waist, chuckled and kissed Clary on her hair once she bopped up, smiling at her while her eyes remained on the young vamp.

Who suddenly looked like he was having a midlife crisis at age twenty-two.

***

“Remember sweetheart, pictures tonight or mom’s disappointment tomorrow.” Isabelle sang, in her pajamas while leading Simon out the door. It was about 3:30 in the morning, Clary and Jace were sleeping in one of the separate bedrooms and Isabelle was about to take up the pull-out couch. Simon would have joined her if it wasn’t for Raphael sending him a text to say 

**‘come here or I’ll find you'**

“Yeah, yeah” he waved her off, having spent the last thirty minutes trying to wash the mess off his face. The young warlock's products made his face feel soft. If he ever got a girlfriend, he’d definitely ask him where he got them from. He’d probably get replies like ‘in the eastern part of India, in a jungle far far away, home to dozens of tigers and maneating plants....”

… The regular drug mart brands were just as good, he guessed.

In under ten minutes, he was back at Hotel DuMort with few distractions. He had to visit Luke first of all to say goodbye. To tell him that if he didn’t get out of this alive, that he was welcome to his things, to take care of Clary and his family, to make sure Jace’s life was miserable. Luke was confused at first, until he caught wind of what was going on. They both hugged before he left.

When he got home, Raphael was found in his office. A large space, with a gold-trimmed desk facing the door, against the opposite wall. There were papers around, files, different artifacts, a glass coffee table to one side with an empty mug and a pitcher filled with a bright red substance. Various bookcases littered around each and every wall and it wasn’t even the only library. And then there was Raphael, standing up beside his dark swivel chair while fixing the cufflngs to his shirt, looking up when the door was knocked on and soon opened. Simon barely looked at him when he came in, shut the door behind him after waving to Stan who was standing close to the door.

“Had fun?” asked Raphael with a raised eyebrow. He could practically smell the booze all over him and his clothes, and something else, various other things. What was those different faded colors over Simon’s face and neck? He didn’t want to know.

Simon swallowed, opened his mouth, then nodded, “Yeah…” This made Raphael even more curious, dropping his hands to his sides, before walking around the desk.

“Anything interesting happen?” Raphael asked, turning to his desk and shuffling through his files. He could practically sense every time the young vampire tensed, it was annoying. He couldn’t have gotten himself drunk unless he drank from some poor barmaid, but if he did then Raphael would kill him. 

Simon took a breath, stood by the door and waited. He lightly played with the phone in his pocket as he said, “Not really, we just drank at Magnus’s… played games.”

He watched Raphael nod, he had no idea what was in store for him, the poor man. No, poor Simon! Poor Simon, “Okay. Well maybe you should get yourself clean because you wreak.” The tone was exaggerated, and made Simon just a little hurt and angry. That damn vampire had no filter, someone should teach him a lesson.

Simon slowly walked forward towards him, coughed. Didn’t get his attention the first time, tried again. This time Raphael looked at him, dropped the file on the desk quite aggressively before turning to him whole while crossing his arms and leaning against his desk. He looked Simon from bottom to top, then said, “Out with it, pendejo.” 

“I need you to hear me out til the end, and know that you have every right to refuse.” He said this quickly with a high pitched voice, but really hoped Raphael would go through with it anyway, in hopes of salvaging his image (and I mean come on, I’m a vampire, it’ll look bad for all of us if I was forced to do _that_ instead.) Though he would probably say ‘it’s your own damn fault’ and leave him to it. Assho-

“I will refuse anyway despite you saying that. But go on, try me.” Raphael’s narrowed eyes made Simon clench his teeth in annoyance.

“You know what, forget it.” Simon said, stiffly circling back and stepping towards the door. It wasn’t worth it. Feeling a hand grab his wrist, caused him to turn back to the curious vampire.

Raphael sighed, “Just say it, idiota” He was really testing his patience, this one.

Simon bit his lip, then looked down to the hand which suddenly retracted from Simon’s wrist, back into its criss-cross position. Took a deep breath. 

“Can I kiss you - on the cheek - and take a picture?”

Pause. As per usual. Raphael was staring at him as if had gone insane. Simon was looking at everything, but him. Okay, he had said it, it was much easier than he thought it would be. Now, if Raphael didn’t eat him alive, then he could go to the next step.

“First of all.... what the hell? Second of all...” Raphael moved forward, head tilted, causing Simon to quickly stride, his back hitting the door, practically tripped on air at the last second, “ _Prepare to die._ You drank a barmaid’s blood, didn’t you?” His fangs were showing in warning, he was angry, "Didn't you?"

“No!” countered Simon, the horror on his face, he had learned how to control himself and not hurt anyone after rigorous training between himself, Clary, Luke, the clan, but mostly Luke since Raphael often lost patience with him and told him to take a walk. Still does to this day, “It’s - well, it’s a game...”

“Why are you playing such games with your shadowhunter friends when you could be training?” Of course Raphael would say that, Simon rolled his eyes, jolted back towards the door as Raphael came closer.

“It’s truth or dare, I’m allowed to relax once in a while, aren't I? It was fun actually, they drew me in make up and made Clary make a boat out of the fabric of her sleeve. I - okay -” Simon was looking up now, as there was barely enough space between himself and Raphael. Raphael always liked to intimidate with his face and body close, Simon could just easily _do it_ now and run away. Only, there wasn’t a lot of room to run away… and really no place to go cause Raphael would find him in under a minute, goddamnit, “Listen, if you don’t want to kiss me, I understand. Ill just do… the other thing Izzy asked me to do. I just wanted to see if you were up for it, but clearly you’re not.” 

Raphael paused, blinked, took a moment to contemplate something as he stepped back, “… Isabella asked you to do this?” 

Simon nodded, stiffly, “Yeah, but she was pretty tipsy too. Thought about something random on the spot.” He ran his fingers through his hair, “She said if I don’t do it then she’ll make me do something else that I’d really like to avoid. So I took my chances and asked you even though I knew you’d say no. Alright, I’m going to go now.”

He turned around fast to open the door, until a hand passed him and slammed the door shut once again. He tensed, here it comes, “… Okay, amigo. I’ll let you kiss me.” Simon turned around, eyes wide in surprise, “But what will you do, for me?”

“Ummm, I’ll stop ditching training?” He offered, he actually really didn’t know what Raphael wanted from him, but apparently not that cause suddenly Raphael looked annoyed.

“I don’t care about that idiot _though you better._ ” He empathized this with a glare, Simon gulped and nodded, “Hm. How about no bitching for a month especially when I call you home, do what I say with no complaining whatsoever, and literally just stop being an annoying moron.”

Now it was Simon’s turn to glare, “I’m not an annoying moron!” which made Raphael smirk, “.... Two weeks”

“Three weeks.”

“It’s literally just a kiss on the cheek, why are you so complicated?”

“Three weeks, and I’ll consider you staying over at your mother's house sometimes.”

The two continued glaring at eachother, cursing eachother in their minds, before Simon sighed and agreed to the terms. It must be a lot for him to kiss a guy he guessed, especially Simon who he hated with a passion so why not? It has been pretty calm now that Valentine stopped showing his face, and if there was any actual trouble then Raphael would probably let him out - he wasn’t that heartless, ironically. Actually he could be quite sweet and protective when he wanted to be. Asking him whether he fed - and if not - would voluntarily come and give it to him wherever he was (while bitching a lot about irresponsible pendejos , that is). Simon grit his teeth.

He then pulled out his phone, went straight to the camera. He made _sure_ that the flash was off, and when he did, he held the screen in front of their face trying to get the perfect angle. All the while, Raphael was staring at his goofy face.

“Alright” Simon turned to him, smiled a little as they caught eyes, “Here I come.” He then moved in and pressed a light peck over his cheek, snapping a picture. After moving back into place, he brought the phone camera down and looked at it, frowned. You could barely see anything from the blurriness.

“Idiot.” Raphael rolled his eyes. He took the phone away without asking and moved it to another angle. Simon was frankly surprised, though guessed that Raphael just wanted to hurry it along and of course - “Hurry up before I change my mind.” Simon quickly went in for it.

Feeling a soft hand over his shoulder, forced him in the same position, Simon blinked against his cold skin. He could hear his camera shutter go off - one, two flicks, but Raphael still didn’t let go. Why was he… Simon's eyes flicked to the phone screen; Raphael was staring straight at it for another couple of seconds then took another picture before finally letting go.

Simon jerked back against the wall, wiping his lips. Well, that was unexpected. He blinked as Raphael took a step forward towards him, looked up to see him smirk, “By the way, you suck at kissing.” Raphael replied, and suddenly he was leaning in, planting a long kiss on Simon’s cheek, to the corner of his lips gently.

Simon heard another flicker of the camera, tensed. Raphael let go of him suddenly, threw the phone in the air which Simon panickly caught at the last second. Raphael then turned and walked back to his desk, the smirk soon leaving his face as soon as Simon ran out and slammed the door, moving his hands over his lips. Damn. He’d definitely give Isabella a call later about meddling.

***

Simon was staring at the pictures that Raphael had taken of them. The first one that Simon took was really bad, Simon was nervous and had been shaking which produced the blurry blobs. Then it got better but still Simon looked quite stiff, lips perked like a monkey. Next one was better, but his eyes were still awkward staring at Raphael’s head. The next one was the best one out of all the ones before, as both of them were staring straight at the camera, alluding calm (and dare he say sexy) undertones. Raphael looked quite adorable in it, surprisingly.

Then there was the last picture. Simon looked frozen solid as Raphael kissed him around the mouth. Both their eyes were closed. They looked very into it. Simon thought to himself…

Simon had sent the middle picture to Izzy, before saving the others in his email. He then placed his phone in his pocket and used the rest of the night to think about his damned life.

***

Around noon, Isabelle called his phone. She sounded pretty excited as she said, “Hey Simon, why did you send me a picture of you and Raphael kissing? Oh my god, are you guys together?!”

Simon sat up from his bedspread in confusion, “What are you talking about? You’re the one who dared me to do it.”

“I did?” Isabelle blinked, “When was that?”

“Yesterday when we were … drinking… wait… you don’t remember?” 

He heard shuffling on the other side, Alec’s voice asking what was going on, “No…not really. But anyway, you guys kissed! How did it feel? Is it official?”

"--Gotta go” Simon screeched and before she could say anything, he hung up the phone. He then turned over and screamed into the pillow.

**Author's Note:**

> Message me on my tumblr @bigbisexual if you have any requests or simply want to chat!


End file.
